My entire life I have been judged unfairly. And no matter what I have said or done, I've always been negatively attacked for one thing, my body type.
When I was little, no one thought anything of the fact that I was so skinny, especially those who knew my parents, it was easy enough to see where I got my high metabolism from. But, as I got older, things changed. I noticed that girls would look at me with harsh, judgmental eyes, even if I had never said a single word to them in my life.
Growing up, through those awkward, teenage, junior high years, I was accused of many things, including having an eating disorder, whether it be anorexia or bulimia. Even my own friends, though jokingly, would flippantly say mean things about how skinny I was, their words were full of envy and disdain towards me.
The thing I never understood was why they couldn't seem to accept my size for what it was (and is). It was as though they thought that it was my doing. I was the one who picked my body type, when in fact, I had nothing to do with it.
To this day, I still get dirty looks and people still make jokes and it reminds me of back when I was in jr. high and high school all over again.
And all I have ever wanted to say to each of those girls who have ever looked at me scornfully is this; you are beautiful.
God created you in his image, he made you with the specific body type that you are and it wasn't a mistake. Media and our culture have twisted our views on what looks "good" and what does not. But the world's standards are not God's standards. When God created Adam and Eve, he saw what he had made and said that it was "good". He didn't say it was "okay" or "fine", he said it was "good". Now, after the one, true, living God created Eve, somehow I doubt she looked down at her body and said "Um, you made me wrong. I think I look ugly."
I kind of don't think that she was concerned with self-image (at least not yet). Humans tend to elevate appearance much higher than it ought to be.
Sure, I think we can all agree that being in shape is a good thing. Eating healthy, staying fit... it's a way to take care of the body that God has given you. But, that's not my point. My point is that God made you beautiful.
Maybe it doesn't seem beautiful to the guy at school or down the street or whatever. But, beauty is in the eye of the beholder and God beholds you as stunning.
He doesn't make junk.
Don't waste your time envying someone else's body. You will never have their exact body because you are not them. You are you. And you are made in the image of God.
It doesn't matter what body type you have, you, as a human, will always find something you don't like about your body. So why envy someone else's?
My story continues as such, I have never had an eating disorder in my life. God gave me this body because he wanted to and it served me very well for the 7 years that I did ballet. But, this same body that so many girls have envied now has an incurable auto-immune disease that's basically arthritis in a nut-shell.
Sure, I understand that some girls would rather be skinnier, but, I would rather be able to open jars and doorknobs without being in massive pain. God creates us each uniquely and with a purpose. Don't undermine God.
And better yet, lets not think of ourselves more highly than we ought to, especially by prioritizing image, because that's prideful. Whether you think too much or too little of yourself, it's pride.
I do realize this rant was somewhat random, but I want to encourage you girls and even guys out there, know who you are and whose you are. And don't elevate body image, it's not worth it.
Signed,
gypsy girl
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Friday, March 9, 2012
Never stop learning.
God has been teaching me a lot lately. He's been teaching me how pride really does come before a fall, that sin really is disgusting, and how a life of independence from God is really no life at all.
I believe God places people in our lives to convict us, push us and live life with. And he has placed some pretty amazing people in my life.
I think too easily, we as Christians, take the simple, basic principles of the Bible, for granted. Instead of realizing that those principles are the foundation on which we stand in the truth of God.
All this to say, it really does all connect, I promise. Though, today I have been rather A.D.D., I swear all of this has a point.
And the point is this, God purposes everything for a reason. He places us in situations in life to help build our faith, he places people in our lives to keep us accountable and he gives us the foundations and principles in which to firmly stand upon.
We serve an awesome God.
I continue to grow and learn and make mistakes, get back up again and then try for the thousandth time to figure things out.
We serve a patient God.
Through struggles and trials and doubts, there's triumphs, reiterations and joy.
We serve a big God.
Every time I find myself starting to wander like a stupid sheep, he takes his staff and gently pushes me back in the direction I need to go.
We serve a personal God.
"My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." Psalm 73:26 (emphasis added)
Signed,
gypsy girl
I believe God places people in our lives to convict us, push us and live life with. And he has placed some pretty amazing people in my life.
I think too easily, we as Christians, take the simple, basic principles of the Bible, for granted. Instead of realizing that those principles are the foundation on which we stand in the truth of God.
All this to say, it really does all connect, I promise. Though, today I have been rather A.D.D., I swear all of this has a point.
And the point is this, God purposes everything for a reason. He places us in situations in life to help build our faith, he places people in our lives to keep us accountable and he gives us the foundations and principles in which to firmly stand upon.
We serve an awesome God.
I continue to grow and learn and make mistakes, get back up again and then try for the thousandth time to figure things out.
We serve a patient God.
Through struggles and trials and doubts, there's triumphs, reiterations and joy.
We serve a big God.
Every time I find myself starting to wander like a stupid sheep, he takes his staff and gently pushes me back in the direction I need to go.
We serve a personal God.
"My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." Psalm 73:26 (emphasis added)
Signed,
gypsy girl
Friday, February 24, 2012
Conviction carries...
Writing is something I have always been passionate about, even from my earliest days. I used to write stories and share them with my mom, who praised my work, though to look back now it was probably shameful. I'm sure back then the stories consisted of princesses and dragons, or ninja's and sonic the hedge hog, thanks to my brother's influence.
Books, writing, poetry, simple notes, they've all impacted my life over the past 21 years because for some reason they speak to me in a way other things can't.
So, of course, tonight as I sit in Starbucks talking with one of my best friends, she would use my love of writing against me, only to convict me of how insignificant I am compared to the great God we serve.
Life is like a book, God of course is the author, and we are the characters. We each have our own different roles and paths of life and God, just like a writer, knows the outcome. As my dearest Kelsey said, "The characters don't get to look at the writer and say, 'you're writing this wrong' or 'I think I'd rather have that character's plot line instead.'"
The interesting thing is, whenever I'm writing a story, I always try to take great care in my characters. I want them to be dynamic characters who have meaning and purpose and I connect them with other characters for different reasons because it serves the overall purpose of the story line.
In comparison to my mediocre writing skills, at best, I can only conclude that God, being the author and perfecter of our faith, would be able to write out the best story of all. Life.
He seems to have it under control, starting off with a beginning; creation, and of course working out the details in between and even having the ending all figured out. It's almost like he thought everything through or something (please note the sarcasm).
Why is it, that as humans, we aren't satisfied with the Author or the story? Are we so selfish to think that we could write a better story for our lives?
Are we so stupid to think that our story isn't good enough? We take what we've been given for granted and instead of being thankful for what we have, we waste our time wishing for things we don't.
The beauty of it is, we don't need to waste our time trying to figure out why our story was written the way it was, or is, all we have to do is keep going. Put one foot in front of the other and continue on our journey.
I think, if more people viewed life as an adventure or journey rather than a mundane existence, life as we know it, would be much different.
I can far more understand why Christ said we should have a child-like faith, in retrospect, everything was easier to grasp because I wasn't searching for endless answers, I was more content because I decided to be. Children don't have it easy, life isn't always simple for kids, but often times they choose for it to be, just because they want to. Sometimes, I wonder, if that couldn't be such a bad idea for adults too.
Random thoughts at 11:30pm.
Always learning and growing. Thank God for tomorrows.
Signed,
gypsy girl
Books, writing, poetry, simple notes, they've all impacted my life over the past 21 years because for some reason they speak to me in a way other things can't.
So, of course, tonight as I sit in Starbucks talking with one of my best friends, she would use my love of writing against me, only to convict me of how insignificant I am compared to the great God we serve.
Life is like a book, God of course is the author, and we are the characters. We each have our own different roles and paths of life and God, just like a writer, knows the outcome. As my dearest Kelsey said, "The characters don't get to look at the writer and say, 'you're writing this wrong' or 'I think I'd rather have that character's plot line instead.'"
The interesting thing is, whenever I'm writing a story, I always try to take great care in my characters. I want them to be dynamic characters who have meaning and purpose and I connect them with other characters for different reasons because it serves the overall purpose of the story line.
In comparison to my mediocre writing skills, at best, I can only conclude that God, being the author and perfecter of our faith, would be able to write out the best story of all. Life.
He seems to have it under control, starting off with a beginning; creation, and of course working out the details in between and even having the ending all figured out. It's almost like he thought everything through or something (please note the sarcasm).
Why is it, that as humans, we aren't satisfied with the Author or the story? Are we so selfish to think that we could write a better story for our lives?
Are we so stupid to think that our story isn't good enough? We take what we've been given for granted and instead of being thankful for what we have, we waste our time wishing for things we don't.
The beauty of it is, we don't need to waste our time trying to figure out why our story was written the way it was, or is, all we have to do is keep going. Put one foot in front of the other and continue on our journey.
I think, if more people viewed life as an adventure or journey rather than a mundane existence, life as we know it, would be much different.
I can far more understand why Christ said we should have a child-like faith, in retrospect, everything was easier to grasp because I wasn't searching for endless answers, I was more content because I decided to be. Children don't have it easy, life isn't always simple for kids, but often times they choose for it to be, just because they want to. Sometimes, I wonder, if that couldn't be such a bad idea for adults too.
Random thoughts at 11:30pm.
Always learning and growing. Thank God for tomorrows.
Signed,
gypsy girl
Saturday, February 4, 2012
Colors
I've been walkin' down this road for quite a while now
Sifting through the good and the bad
I've been waiting for the world to make a change for the better
But then I realized the world was just so sad
And when the rain hit my window pane
And the stars started falling from the sky
I realized the sun will keep on shining
Because the dark is never dark inside the light
Oh, the colors burst open wide
When your heart and mine collide
Then one day while I was walking down my path
My legs gave way and I stumbled upon the ground
But when you picked me up I looked a little down
You said sorry but I'm stronger than you now
My world had changed from the sorry state I was in
Now I know I can't change the world I live
But when I feel like the end is chasing me down
I'll give you all I have and that's all I can give
Oh, the colors burst open wide
When your heart and mine collide
Oh, the ray of reality will shine
When I put into your hands what was not mine
Signed,
gypsy girl
Sifting through the good and the bad
I've been waiting for the world to make a change for the better
But then I realized the world was just so sad
And when the rain hit my window pane
And the stars started falling from the sky
I realized the sun will keep on shining
Because the dark is never dark inside the light
Oh, the colors burst open wide
When your heart and mine collide
Then one day while I was walking down my path
My legs gave way and I stumbled upon the ground
But when you picked me up I looked a little down
You said sorry but I'm stronger than you now
My world had changed from the sorry state I was in
Now I know I can't change the world I live
But when I feel like the end is chasing me down
I'll give you all I have and that's all I can give
Oh, the colors burst open wide
When your heart and mine collide
Oh, the ray of reality will shine
When I put into your hands what was not mine
Signed,
gypsy girl
Friday, February 3, 2012
On my mind
Today made me think of random things. For instance, it was sunny and nearly 60 degrees out today and it made me think of how poorly my body acclimates to the weather. Here I was expecting the same temperatures we've been having, so I dress accordingly and then I go outside only to realize that I have far too many layers on.
It's moments like those that at the end of the day, I hang onto. Those simple moments where nothing much else matters except for the fact that I dressed too warm for the day.
I cling to those moments because these days I have far more on my plate then I normally do.
I've been told quite a few times that I should become a nurse, or do something in the medical field, though I don't think I'd really like it. I admire those who have a passion for the medical field, it's very stressful, though I'm sure entertaining as well.
But, even though the medical field is not my calling in life, you try and find a 21 year old girl who can handle any disgusting, graphic medical thing thrown at her... we are few and far between!
So, how am I holding up? To be honest, I'm not sure. Probably prayer. No doubt, actually. There's no way I'm able to handle all of this on my own. Though, I wish I could stop relying on my own strength as much, that's always been a weak point for me.
My days begin and end with information overload, but luckily, I have a God-given brain that allows me to store and sort all of that information and pull it out at a moments notice for whatever may come.
I ramble because it's the easiest way to maintain sanity. If I could continually talk about the weather or how not clean my room is, I would. But, alas, the only thing that surrounds my mind these days is hospitals, doctors, decisions, helping, hoping and praying.
I didn't know things would turn out this way, when I was a kid the last thing on my list of "things to deal with when I got older" was so many medical issues. I thought my biggest problem would be picking out a car when I was 16. Ha! That's so laughable now. I guess I've come to appreciate the truly important things in life. Learned not to doddle in insignificant matters. Still.
I guess, at this point of my rambling, I would like to encourage anyone who had the patience to read this random post to really realize what's important today. To tell those you love that you love them. To spend more time showing you love people than telling them. To smile to random strangers because you never know if that one smile will brighten their whole day.
To enjoy life because it's shorter than you think. To trust God more than you trust yourself.
Yeah, and anything else that you deem as very important... do those things today, because you never know when today will be your last.
Signed,
gypsy girl
It's moments like those that at the end of the day, I hang onto. Those simple moments where nothing much else matters except for the fact that I dressed too warm for the day.
I cling to those moments because these days I have far more on my plate then I normally do.
I've been told quite a few times that I should become a nurse, or do something in the medical field, though I don't think I'd really like it. I admire those who have a passion for the medical field, it's very stressful, though I'm sure entertaining as well.
But, even though the medical field is not my calling in life, you try and find a 21 year old girl who can handle any disgusting, graphic medical thing thrown at her... we are few and far between!
So, how am I holding up? To be honest, I'm not sure. Probably prayer. No doubt, actually. There's no way I'm able to handle all of this on my own. Though, I wish I could stop relying on my own strength as much, that's always been a weak point for me.
My days begin and end with information overload, but luckily, I have a God-given brain that allows me to store and sort all of that information and pull it out at a moments notice for whatever may come.
I ramble because it's the easiest way to maintain sanity. If I could continually talk about the weather or how not clean my room is, I would. But, alas, the only thing that surrounds my mind these days is hospitals, doctors, decisions, helping, hoping and praying.
I didn't know things would turn out this way, when I was a kid the last thing on my list of "things to deal with when I got older" was so many medical issues. I thought my biggest problem would be picking out a car when I was 16. Ha! That's so laughable now. I guess I've come to appreciate the truly important things in life. Learned not to doddle in insignificant matters. Still.
I guess, at this point of my rambling, I would like to encourage anyone who had the patience to read this random post to really realize what's important today. To tell those you love that you love them. To spend more time showing you love people than telling them. To smile to random strangers because you never know if that one smile will brighten their whole day.
To enjoy life because it's shorter than you think. To trust God more than you trust yourself.
Yeah, and anything else that you deem as very important... do those things today, because you never know when today will be your last.
Signed,
gypsy girl
Monday, January 16, 2012
Day 7
Topic 14: You are a food. What are you and why?
Well I'd like to start off by saying that I am NOT a food, nor do I believe in cannibalism. But in light of this 20 day topic thingy, I will pretend to be a food.
My favorite food is pickles, though I'm not sure I'd want to BE one. I don't really think of myself as bulky with bumps and of course, I'm not really green.
Perhaps I'd be a lemon. I add color and a bit of zest to people's lives... I, er, um, mean food. It's tangy and you can't quite seem to forget the flavor even after washing it from your mouth. Plus, it can be sweet, if you put a little sugar on it.
Yup. I'm definitely a lemon.
P.S. I highly suggest people don't go around saying that about themselves. People will take it the wrong way.
Signed,
gypsy girl
Well I'd like to start off by saying that I am NOT a food, nor do I believe in cannibalism. But in light of this 20 day topic thingy, I will pretend to be a food.
My favorite food is pickles, though I'm not sure I'd want to BE one. I don't really think of myself as bulky with bumps and of course, I'm not really green.
Perhaps I'd be a lemon. I add color and a bit of zest to people's lives... I, er, um, mean food. It's tangy and you can't quite seem to forget the flavor even after washing it from your mouth. Plus, it can be sweet, if you put a little sugar on it.
Yup. I'm definitely a lemon.
P.S. I highly suggest people don't go around saying that about themselves. People will take it the wrong way.
Signed,
gypsy girl
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Day 8
Topic 13: If you could have any job, realistically and/or unrealistically, what would it be and why?
Any job... Okay, ideally I'd love to be a well known author/motivational speaker. Traveling around talking about my books, encouraging people from all walks of life to run this race with endurance. I've always been a writing freak. Just ask my mom. Unlike most children who would sit around playing with toys, watching hours of mindless television, (not like I didn't do those things... but that's beside the point) I, as a child, would come up with fictional stories and write them. Then of course give them or at least tell my magical stories to my mom, who couldn't help but love them. Naturally my mom wasn't the best critic, seeing as everything I did was far too cute in her eyes to ever really be THAT stupid.
Looking back I'm appalled at some of my earlier stories. But, you have to have a starting point. I won't put down meager beginnings.
Anyway, that's what I would do. Of course, this would mean I would actually have to learn to care about run-on sentences and proper grammar, which I have NEVER cared about. But, to me, writing isn't about structure, it's about imagination, clarity and getting the point across. And I'm okay if people use too many or not enough comma's as long as those are their goals.
Signed
gypsy girl
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